my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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