My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
