it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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