Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
