dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
