You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
