Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize