I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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