dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
