Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize