i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
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