My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
did you just send me my own nude
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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