Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
