So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
