the condom got lost in my hair
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
