I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
