i think i have herpe
just one?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
