What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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