the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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