I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
