I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
