I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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