I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
