we're chasing vodka with high fives
People in love make me want to vomit
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
