the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
birth control should be required to get into college
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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