Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
