My sheets look like a crime scene.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
