fuck your aforementioned shoe
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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