Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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