The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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