i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
