Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
