birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
