I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
