ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
