I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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