it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
