He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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