I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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