Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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