sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
