Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
