I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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