it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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