but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
