So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
