the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
