it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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