Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize