you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize