sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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