you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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