hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
