Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The air was thick with penises
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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