So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
