I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
