You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
