Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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