I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
