he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦â€
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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