U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
