when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize