I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
