Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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