he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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