I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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