Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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