Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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