you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize