I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
