i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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