he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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