i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize