at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize