i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
