she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
