Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
