i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize