i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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