so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
