Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
