I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
